Seeing two stripes on a test might be tough, especially if you didn’t plan that pregnancy. Shall I keep the baby or not? What’s my life going to be like after? Is it painful? There are millions of questions you want to know answers to. In our case we decided to keep the baby. Our son is one year old now and today I decided to write down the list of things to keep in mind before you decide what’s next:
- Pregnancy and delivery are not that scary. Well, maybe delivery is. On the one hand, I was in labor for around 36 hours and that was hell. On the other hand, my friends delivered their babies within 5-6 hours and had wonderful experience. After all, look at all the women around who went through the same experience, they seem fine, so will you.
- Sleepless nights might affect your emotional and physical health a lot. The issues you had with your partner will become 100% worse after having a baby. Lack of time, sleep and shitty food you eat might turn you in an angry witch your partner will not recognize anymore. So, it’s better to have babies in mature relationships or have somebody like parents or family who you can count on around. Sex after giving birth is different. Usually you’re simply too tired to even get to bed never mind being sexy and active. You may need antidepressants, therapist and a lot of support.
- Forget about normal social life. At least for the next 5-10 years. We go out and travel with a baby a lot, but there are simply places you can’t take baby to: nightclub, business meeting, trip to Somali (God knows why you need to go there on the first place). Babies have the same mood swings as adults and sometimes they just want to spend the day at home and stay in bed even at 11 months old.
- There will be lots of pressure on what you eat while pregnant, how you bring up your baby, what do you feed the baby and so on. Not necessarily from you family, but from social media, other moms, TV shows. Every day you’ll ask yourself a question “Am I doing it right” about a million times.
- Your finances will get worse. Even if you get back to work right away, expenses on babies are huge. It’s not just diapers and clothes, toys, classes, daycare, tutors and who knows what else on the way. You need to move to a better area, bigger apartment, buy bigger car. Babies are expensive. That’s the truth.
Nevertheless, babies are fun. So much fun. You get happier after having a baby. You laugh more, explore and enjoy new achievements every day. You lean and teach. Research studies show that moms with kinds, especially those who have 2 or 3 kids are more productive. Things that bothered you before like dirty floors or summer styles will bother you way less, just because you’ll have less time for that stuff.
Going back to the question about keeping a baby. You’ll aske me “Do I regret it?”. Usually I don’t, but there are days when I talk with my husband what our life will be like if we didn’t have baby now. I guess the older kids get, the more happy you are they were brought in your life at that exact moment. Overall, if the pregnancy wouldn’t happen maybe we would never get to the point of having kids anyway.